In the mid-1970’s my father, Allen Eide, had already divorced my mother and married my step-mother Nell. Nell lived in Santa Rosa and father lived with her.
For many years my father suffered with two types of cancer.
One was prostate cancer and the other was bone marrow cancer. Both were painful
for him to deal with.
In the mid-1970’s I was contacted by Nell to come up to
Santa Rosa as she didn’t think my father would last long. While I was visiting we
were not sure if my father would pass very soon. At the time I was visiting one
of Nell’s sons was at her house also but he lived in the San Jose area. Here is
a conversation that took place.
NELL: Oh I wish it
was me dying of cancer instead of Allen? He shouldn’t have to suffer like this!
NELL’S SON: Why are
you so upset over this? It’s not like it is my father!
Yes you read that correctly. While I was standing in the
same room with Nell and her son, her son made that comment to me. Basically he
was saying that it wasn’t his father dying and he doesn’t care.
Want to know something about his father? Nell’s first
husband, who is the father of her son who made this rude insulting comment,
died of a drug overdose. Let me tell you what happened. His father was a Pharmacist
and he was so stressed and depressed that he decided to commit suicide. Being a
Pharmacist he had all the drugs available to him and he knew what each of the
drugs would do to him. Yes he overdosed on drugs as a Pharmacist and yet he
disrespected my father for dying of cancer which was outside of his control.
But you know what? I had to deal with this and accept it even
though it hurt to hear those comments. Sometimes you have to turn away and walk
away and try to not react when things like this happen.
