Playing the Victim

Written By:  Andrew Eide

I do not like people who “play the victim” and by that term I mean they instigate stuff and when you call them out on it they immediately play the victim.

I’ve experienced this at work and in my personal life. It seems to be a never-ending vicious cycle.

When we were kids me and my sister would have arguments and fights all the time. Well, come on now, isn’t that how most siblings react to each other? My sister is two years older than me so that, in her mind, meant she was the boss of me. Sometimes when we had an argument she would take a swing at me and hit me. I, of course, took offense to being slapped or punched so I hit her back. My sister, who instigated the argument and instigated the hitting, would run to mother and father and yell out “ANDY HIT ME!” and then I would get into trouble. Our parents who ask me why I hit my sister and I would reply that she hit me first. They would always reply that just because someone hits you doesn’t mean you can hit them back. My question was always how come it is okay for my sister to hit me but I can’t hit her back. I never received a valid answer to that one.

There have been people where I worked who did stuff at work that I would classify as illegal and up to, and including, embezzling money or stealing stuff from the company. When they got caught doing the deed they would immediately claim to be the victim. No you are not the victim you are the perpetrator.

Our Computer IT person at The Quiet Hour ministry in Redlands was an overbearing evil mean person. He would abuse me all the time by yelling at me and accusing me of doing things I never did. I registered a complaint to our Vice President and I was flatly told by her that I have to back off since the Computer IT guy has high blood pressure and he is under a lot of stress. I asked the Vice President why I have to deal with abuse at work just because someone has high blood pressure? I told her that doesn’t give him the right to terrorize everyone in the organization.

Let me give it to you straight. If you do something wrong...If you instigate things...If you false accuse me...meaning you instigated the wrong-doing, then do NOT act like you are the victim when you get called out. Step up and be honest about it and admit you are wrong and move on and work to improve yourself.

I will NOT tolerate people abusing me and then hiding behind their victim mask.