Although I can come across as being insensitive, and I’ve
even been called cynical, I am not those things.
For the reader who doesn’t know the main definitions of
the word cynical here is what it means. To be cynical means you believe that
people are motivated by self-interest and you are distrustful of human
sincerity or integrity. You may be doubtful that something will happen or
whether it is worthwhile.
Do I believe most people are motivated by self-interest
and I tend to distrust most people? Yes to a certain extent. I’ve been hurt
enough times to err on the side of being cautious so that I reduce the chance
of being hurt again. When you have politicians who are money hungry and
motivated by self-interest over serving their Constituents of course I’m
cautious with them.
Do I often doubt something will happen? Yes and I believe
most people do. When you understand why I do this it makes sense. When we were
trying to purchase a home toward the end of 2017 every time I was so sure we
would get the house we put the bid on something would happen to screw it up and
we didn’t get that house so we had to continue searching. This happened
numerous times and then we came upon the house we own now. When we put the bid
in on the house I changed from being optimistic to one of caution. I mentioned
that if we get the house then fine. If we don’t get the house then fine and we
can continue looking. I was asked why I was being so negative and my response
is that I don’t want to be discouraged again. I figure if I am in the mindset
of if we get the house it is okay and if we don’t get the house it is okay and
we keep looking.
So what happened? We got the house. Since I put my mind
on good if we get it and if not we keep looking had we not been able to
purchase this house it would have been okay and not a big disappointment. But
we did get the house and it brought a larger amount of joy and satisfaction to
me.
Let me close with a list of things I enjoy as I feel they
are lovely. My family. Watching the sunrise. Watching the sunset. Taking a walk
in the park. And many many more. I enjoy a lot of things that people don’t know
I enjoy. All they need to do is ask and I will tell them all the things I like
and that I feel are lovely things.
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